


Nightmare

by TigerJolteo



Series: KuroTsuki Angst [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Break Up, I just needed some KuroTsuki angst ok, M/M, Mental Breakdown, mentioned bokuaka, this is trash lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-11-14 19:32:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18058658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TigerJolteo/pseuds/TigerJolteo
Summary: Kei constantly has recurring dreams about Tetsurou coming over to break up with him.





	Nightmare

“ **Let’s break up.** ”

 

_What?_

 

” **I don’t think this will work out.** ”

 

_Why?_

 

” **I just don’t think there’s anything _there_  anymore.**”

 

_Pardon me?_

 

” **I enjoyed the time we spent together.** ”

 

_No._

 

” **Goodbye.** ”

 

_Don’t..._

 

_leave me..._

 

_please..._

 

_..._

 

..

 

_._

Kei’s golden eyes shot open; wide and swelled with heavy tears. He turned his head to the side to glance at the wet stains on his pillow. He had been crying in his sleep. God, he’s been having the same nightmare again and again for the past weeks. Tetsurou comes over, they kiss, maybe sleep together, then the next morning Kei would awake to see Tetsurou halfway out the door, and he always said exactly the same three words.

 

” ** _Let’s break up._** ”

 

Kei never understood why he’s been having these nightmares. It’s been eating up his thoughts during the day and his peaceful sleep during the night. Maybe he was anxious about his relationship with Tetsurou. Maybe it was one of those psychic dreams-

No, Kei didn’t want to believe that Tetsurou would ever break up with him. Why would he? They were doing well. They've been together for two years, with Kei now a college freshman in Sendai. Even though they lived rather far apart, they still made time for each other. Tetsurou would come over to Sendai during his holiday breaks, Kei would go over to Tokyo sometimes to see him too, and it gave him a chance to see Bokuto and Akaashi again as well. The two of them were also in a relationship, and as far as Kei knew, they had done moderately well as a couple. Yeah, there would be no apparent reason for them to break up.

He thought it was that way for him and Tetsurou too.

 

_Ding-Dong_

 

" **Ah...** " Kei sat up and reached over to grab his glasses from the table beside his bed. After carefully placing them over his eyes, he blinked a few times to adjust to his sight. He looked over at the digital clock that his glasses were previously rested against. It read 11:57, almost noon. Had he been asleep for that long? He did stay up relatively late the previous night to study for an upcoming test...

Shaking his head to bring himself back, Kei shifted his body and pushed himself off the bed. There was a single sunbeam forcing its way into his bedroom through a gap in the black-out curtains, barely illuminating the surface area it touched. He used that lone light source to pass his bathroom and make the way into the living room, ruffling his blonde hair to try and wake himself up a little. He let a yawn slip and wiped away a tear that had formed. His eyes somehow still felt dry from crying in his sleep, yet he felt that he could cry even more. That reminded him that his face probably had tear stains on it as well, but he couldn’t really be bothered to go wash his face yet. Plus, he didn’t want to leave the person outside his door waiting for too long. It might be a friend or family member, though it might have been unlikely. Maybe the landlord had come to collect his overdue rent. Wait, that was impossible, he’d paid his rent a week ago.

Who could it have been?

 

_Tetsurou?_

 

Kei shook his head vigorously. It couldn’t be. It would be great, yes, Kei would have been thrilled if that was the case, but he knew it couldn’t be. Even though it might have been the holidays in Tokyo, Kei still doubted that Tetsurou would show up at his apartment door.

 

Yet, to Kei’s great and utter surprise, when he grabbed and twisted and pulled the door handle, there standing at the entrance was none other than Kuroo Tetsurou. Naturally messed up bedhead, narrow and cat-like eyes, thin finger raised up to the doorbell about to press it again.

Kei’s eyes were wide, “ **K-Kuroo-san…?** ” He muttered quietly, the momentary shock trapping any other words in the chambers of his throat. Despite the other using first names, Kei always stuck with calling Tetsurou by his surname. He had let the other’s given name slip into his speech a few times, normally responded with an affectionate kiss and an excited grin, but the last-name habit had already been developed. Tetsurou never really seemed to mind, however. Kei thought that it was enough to allow him to continue using ‘Kuroo-san’. 

Tetsurou swung his head to meet his eyes, reeling back in slight surprise at Kei’s tired morning state,

" **Kei...** "

" **What are you doing here?** " Kei asked softly, blinking a few times to make sure that he wasn't seeing things.

" **Well...** " Tetsurou started, bringing a hand up and rubbing the back of his neck, glancing off to the side.

 

_Awkward actions..._

 

_Avoiding eye-contact..._

 

Kei's constant nightmares came flooding back into his mind. 

Was that why Tetsurou was here?

 

_No...keep an open mind._

 

" **C** **ome in first,** " Kei murmured before Tetsurou could finish. He stepped aside, pulling the door just a little to open it wider. Tetsurou blinked, before nodding and walking in, slipping off his shoes. Kei slowly closed the door behind him, eyes trailing down to the floor. Normally, he’d be happy that Tetsurou came over.

 

What was this air of tension between them...

 

...that appeared when Kei first opened the door?

 

“ **Kei,** ” Tetsurou spoke again once Kei walked over into the living room, “ **I’m going to come right out and say it...** ”

 

Kei already knew what was to come.

But he didn’t want to believe it.

 

Not one bit.

 

” **Let’s break up.** ”

 

_Not one bit._

 

Kei’s eyes widened. Those three words were like three sharp daggers piercing straight through his heart, and even after they were harshly stabbed into his chest, they never stopped.

He laughed weakly, “ **P-pardon me?** ” he said, prompting Tetsurou to repeat, even though he heard him loud and clear. Even though he didn’t want to hear him say those three words again.

” **I said I think we should break up,** ” Tetsurou responded almost immediately as if he had said the line over and over again. Each word he spoke added another stab of pain to Kei’s chest.

“ **...Why?** ” Kei said shakily, beginning to feel his knees buckling, ready to give way at any moment, but he forced himself to keep his composure. He didn’t want to know why, but yet he did. Sure, they argued, sure, they disagreed on things, yet, they always peacefully made up afterwards. That was one thing Kei had always wished would never change, but here they were, their relationship about to take a drastic change.

 It’s not like he would admit it, but Kei truly loved Tetsurou. He couldn’t imagine a future without him. Heck, they had discussed marriage and living together at one point in their relationship.

 

Were those moments simply forgotten?

 

” **I just think...that there’s nothing really _there_ anymore,**” Tetsurou’s eyes averted to avoid looking at Kei and his tear-stained face. Unbeknownst to Tetsurou, that action of avoiding eye-contact just broke the blonde even more. 

" **I enjoyed the time we spent together, yeah, but I don't feel good about leading you on when I don’t feel anything,** " Tetsurou continued speaking. Each word he spoke felt like a hard slap across Kei's face. It took all of the blonde’s willpower to not burst into tears at that moment. How long has he felt this way? Why has Kei never picked up on any of is? His entire body felt like it was screaming at him, slowly tearing him apart from all the questions running in and out of his mind, the flood of emotions that Tetsurou created by breaking the dam that was his heart.

 

...

 

” **I understand.** ”

The fakest words to ever roll off Kei's tongue.

 

Tetsurou looked back at him, “ **Really?** ” he leaned forward a little, looking shocked yet slightly relieved. Kei clenched his hands into tight fists as he nodded slowly. His heart ached, it ached so much until he just wanted to rip it out of his own chest, but Tetsurou had already done that with his words.

" **Oh, thank god,** " Tetsurou sighed in relief, " **I'm glad you understood.** "

 

_I don't._

 

" **At least we can end this on the right foot, yeah?** " Tetsurou sent him a small lasting smile as if expecting one in return.

 

_I don't want to end it at all._

 

" **Well, I'll take my leave now, Kei...** " Tetsurou bowed forwards a little, " **Thanks for understanding.** "

Kei could tell that Tetsurou really was relieved at how smoothly things went, but that was only thanks to Kei's false words. It was only thanks to Kei being so good at putting on a fake front, a fake face, a fake voice.

In reality, he didn’t want any of it.

 

...

 

An idea sparked in Kei’s mind.

 

” **Kuroo-san...** ” He said quietly, taking a small step towards him, “ **May I just ask of one more thing before you...l-leave?** ” he said, with a slight begging tone in his voice. It was one of the first times that he had ever sounded so desperate and needy. God, he sounded ridiculous, didn't he?

” **Hm? Sure, what is it?** ” Tetsurou asked, turning back towards Kei. The blonde felt a twist in his gut at hearing him respond, but before wasting another millisecond, he said the words,

” _ **Don’t hate me for this.**_ ”

as he hastily threw himself towards Tetsurou, clasping both sides of the male’s face with his clammy hands and kissing him. Tetsurou froze on the spot, not at all expecting Kei to suddenly press his lips against his. A few more seconds passed, Kei savouring every last bit of their contact, not wanting to pull away.

But eventually, he did.

His usually pale cheeks were flushed with pink, breaths heavy and hands now trembling violently. He wanted more. A lot more, now that he’s already done that.

” **Kei...** ” Tetsurou murmured, sounding a mix of surprised and confused, “ **What was that for-** “

” **Just so I can end this properly,** ” Kei cut him off quickly, but his tone wavered. His hands continued to tremble, so he subtly brought them together to play with them nervously, a habit he has had since young. Tetsurou still looked confused, but he nodded simply and turned on his heel to head out of the door. Kei really felt like crying as he watched him walk away.

"... **Goodbye, Kei,** " Were the last words he heard before his front door opened then closed, the last thing he saw of the outside being Tetsurou's half-smiling face, but full of relief and satisfaction at seeing how well things had gone. 

 

What Tetsurou couldn't see were the tears that were now streaming down Kei's face.

 

Initially, Kei’s plan was to kiss Tetsurou with whatever he had left so that their split up wouldn’t have been so painful once the ravenette actually left. However, it only made Kei want Tetsurou to stay even more.

The blonde’s knees finally gave way, as he dropped to the floor with a hand tightly clutching his heart. It hurt. It hurt so much, even when Tetsurou was gone. Tears fell rapidly from Kei’s eyes as he choked on his sobs. The sound of his pained wails echoed through the walls of his lone apartment.

Besides volleyball, it was safe for Kei to say that Tetsurou was his dream. He felt so free, even energetic when around him, in contrast to everyone else just draining his mental energy. It was refreshing. It was his dream to stay with Tetsurou for the rest of his life.

But now that Tetsurou was gone, officially, truly gone...

... _Kei’s life had then become a living nightmare._


End file.
